The behavior of children can seem mysterious at times, but it's all natural on the developmental road
Many parents, especially when they have two or more, are absolutely mystified at time over the behavior of children. Why does Johnny seem to have a penchant for throwing toys at his older sister? What do you do? Why does a child act up at home, but conduct himself perfectly in the school room setting? Why, when you keep your home neat as a pin, does a child keep his room in such disarray, you can hardly keep up with the mess?
All of these everyday examples of typical behavior of children can be perplexing indeed. Multiple children, each exhibiting behaviors you'd rather not contend with, can have you taking a time out just to keep your temper and sanity intact. Rather than just ignoring it ?as best you can, appropriate to the particular behavior ?or going in for spanking as the standard consequence, let's take a look at ways to deal with the problem.
We've all heard of the 'terrible twos', that stage in a child's life when they rebel against everything and indulge in frequent temper tantrums. This stage of behavior in children has an official name. You expect it. You can talk to your doctor or other Moms for advice on navigating this stage of development. However, after this point, children are beginning to develop complexity and individuality in their personalities, which makes your analysis tremendously more difficult. You may even fear bringing issues up with friends or your physician, believing it must be either something you're doing wrong, or evidence of some mental disorder in your child.
The first thing you should do is go shopping in the self help section of the bookstore. There are plenty of books on parenting, standard behavior of children at various stages of life and advice on dealing with an array of situations. Look through what's available and educate yourself. Such books are typically written by psychologists, coming from different schools of theories on psychology. Browse through these books until you find one that hits your mark and comes across as sound advice. Your library probably has a pretty good selection, so check there as well.
Sometimes, the library route is an excellent starting point. You can check out several books, all of which might contain information you can use. If you find a particular author who seems to have a handle on the behavior of children, to your understanding, you can then look for other books by that author to enhance your understanding.
You may learn that your messy child matches up with an artistic, creative personality type. Your child may not outgrow this, but on the other hand, he may be the genius type. On the other hand, maybe it's just age-related rebellion against your tidy habits. Johnny may feel jealous of his older sibling, who, according to his lights, has older child privileges he is denied. The child who acts up at home may be doing so because you let him get away with it, while an authoritative teacher may cause him to toe the line.
The behavior of children is often puzzling. Finding out why they demonstrate these behaviors and how it relates to their age is the key to a happier household.